Where is the ME in MOMMY?

As much as I love my girls, I miss certain things about my "old life". Life before babies - life before twin girls!

Gone are the days of sleeping in, although I never really slept past 8 or 8:30 anyway. Dinner out? That's something rare in our life now - due to time and money. Buying clothes for myself, having someone else color my hair, getting gifts for friends and family for no reason, getting pedicures - there's something to be said for having extra money.

What I really miss though is the freedom and money to travel. I've been fortunate enough to travel to 5 other countries (Canada, Mexico, France, Germany and Austria) and 44 states (still need to visit Oregon, North Dakota, Utah, Oklahoma, Michigan and Kansas). I love visiting other places and cultures to explore and find out how the people in that area live.

I remember  flying by myself to France to meet my (at the time) husband (who is now my ex). He was singing with a group in France and recording a CD. I landed in Paris and found the subway to catch a train to a little town in Southern France. I rolled my suitcase along and thought I was pretty hot stuff. At the age of 30, I had been to Canada and Mexico but never across the ocean!

I had no problems making my connections but it was a little stressful once the train pulled into this extremely small station in the town I was headed for. There was one attendant who worked there and - lucky me - he only spoke French. I knew my husband was rehearsing and would not be able to pick me up. I tried showing the attendant a map to see if we could communicate in a crude sign language but we didn't get very far.

So I decided to hang out at the train station and finally two French girls came in to purchase train tickets in advance of their trip. They spoke English and offered me a lift in their car. I hopped in and they drove me to the dorm at the university where we were staying. My husband had left signs pointing me to our room so I dropped off my suitcase and then walked to town to order a pastry and coffee - I knew just enough French to accomplish that (yes, I had to learn French for FOOD!).

That's the part I really miss - ME. For now, I rely on photos and memories to fill my sense of traveling adventure. Hopefully someday I'll be able to take my girls along and finish visiting all 50 states. I love being a mom but there are days when I miss myself. I hope she doesn't stray far because I plan to do my best to bring her out again!